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This is either a rendering of the docking sequence or space pornography. Supposedly, he forces people to appreciate what they have, and if they demonstrate that they've learned this, he lets them go. One of the ship's crew in Alien was black, and some of the soldiers in Aliens. He is upset and unfulfilled because he can't have as much fun and excitement as the character who is doing crime, but he's just too uptight to loosen up.

Everyone loves seeing boobies! Continue Reading Below Really, though. Now both space powers had set their sights on the ultimate goal -- the moon. It was more than fast enough to cause Scott and Armstrong to get dizzy and lose track of the location of Earth.

In the time it takes for Ana to call and get a busy signal, he dies and pops back up as an undead maniac: If you're watching solely for the sake of glory, you're going to be disappointed -- in most sports, even the best team loses every season, and when you have, say, 30 teams competing for one championship, many of them will go decades without winning or even getting close.

There's definitely a systemic problem that comes from giving a bunch of strong young men millions of dollars they'll probably mismanage while telling them that they're powerful and important and famous and can get any girl they want.

The Soviets showered Petrov with praise and rewards for saving the very world itself from- haha, no, they wrote him up for making a filing error when he was doing paperwork about averting Armageddon. If your buddy banged his lady over the cash register at the Starbucks where he worked, then fell asleep on the counter until late morning, only to be awoken by a crowd of staring kids, you'd be concerned for him, right?

And the message from upstairs was clear: But now he's always caught up with things in the house, like mowing the lawn and chopping lumber and worrying if the joint racist dating site:cracked.com he used on the drywall looks just right.

Keep these guys away from your female friends. How can we make male characters worse? But what the hell is, say, Winnipeg known for, besides being what I assume is Canada's suicide capital?

Doctors shouldn't fuck their patients, especially if they used to babysit that patient when she was a child. Call off the murder! Universal PicturesTo this guy. So while it may not come as a total surprise that his early work included some nerdy stuff, like repping Street Sharks toys at Toy Fairit is no less delightful to see Vin Diesel, in full Vin Diesel mode, geeking out over humanoid shark action figures and daring the rest of us to match his excitement.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement We've convinced ourselves that there's such thing as "ass-kicking supermodels" for the same reason female slasher movie survivors tend to spend the last hour of every film running and screaming at the top of their lungs.

I doubt I can relate much to the year-old chain-smoker on his way into the casino, but when I see his football jersey I think it's cool that he's been supporting a team I support longer than I've been alive. Chandler and Joey are gray-area sexual predators. And that's what sports, at their core, are all about.

And as that essayist has pointed out, none of our favorite black actors are spring chickens. It was the Gemini's thruster that was malfunctioning all along.

Because, except for the gypsy curse that's forcing Jaromir Jagr to play forever, they love it. Armstrong had added a good 10 inches to his Space Dong. Getty Armstrong, seen here smiling at his old friend Certain Fiery Death.Source images from Getty Thinkstock.

The girls in your movie know how to have fun, but at least one of their husbands is a crazy killjoy. This guy yells at her that she does not have responsibility, and she looks at her friends and rolls her eyes. As modern humans with constant access to every piece of information that has ever been known, we like to think we're pretty smart.

Surely, in these times of carbon dating, digital reconstruction, and computerized archiving, we've learned everything there is to know about our primitive ancestors.

Getty Images/Getty Images Entertainment /Mario Tama/Getty Images News. Steve Buscemi is the go-to actor for when you need a whiny, loudmouthed schnook.

Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. For the past 20 years, I have had a fascination with the British monarchy. And by "fascination," I mean an obsession that more than one person has expressed serious concern about, and which should probably keep me from being allowed in.

Sure, most big cities are known for something besides their sports teams.

New York is known for Broadway, Portland is known for a show that makes 8, identical jokes about baristas and hipsters, Detroit is known for being a sci-fi dystopia, etc.

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